Do you ever wonder if your brain, in all of its infinite mystery and complex processing power, is aware of things you are not? That might sound strange, since you are using your brain to think that. Dreams—a conglomeration of images, scenes, and moods—are a good example of what I mean. Your brain is working through your day’s experiences while you are asleep. Sometimes you might give it a nudge if you are thinking about that exam or presentation before you go to sleep, but more often than not my brain decides what it wants to dream about without consulting me.
I am not about to start talking about dreams though. Can of worms, I tell you.
I’m looking at my last two blog posts, and I’m thinking my brain is a sneaky genius (I’m thinking on the level of the BBC’s Sherlock) that withholds the final clues until the other detectives are ready to comprehend it. In my posts I expressed thoughts on eliminating (donating) extraneous and unused possessions. I decided that I needed to take a break from sewing for time and financial management reasons.
Then, this week, my company eliminated my position.
It felt sudden, but like all things in business it was a result of a longer decision-making process and I’m wondering if my brain was picking up on subtle clues in the office atmosphere. My brain has been preparing me for change for the past couple weeks, but I thought it was just a haircut, cutting back on spending, and refocusing my sustainability efforts. Even my dreams, in hindsight, had themes of separation and finality.
The “regular” detectives in Sherlock are understandably irritated when they discover that Sherlock Holmes has been withholding vital case clues or has gone off to meet with the suspect without telling anyone. But we as viewers see that Sherlock (for the most part) releases the answers he has deduced when it is necessary. He functions and processes details faster, and if he laid all the facts on the table as soon as he learned them, it would likely overload the detectives’ (and our) brains.
Perhaps, like Sherlock, my brain had deduced what was potentially coming. And I don’t mind that it kept me in the dark.* As I sit here today (while my boyfriend leaves for work), even though it sucks a lot to not have a job, the psychological groundwork that was laid over the last couple weeks is a huge help in dealing with this change. The crying and the anger passed. (It also helped to have a couple dear friends immediately accessible for coffee and by phone to help me move past the initial shock.) The offerings of support (emotional and professional) from old friends and from new acquaintances, alike, has increased my hope for the job search. Now I just need to buckle down, go over the unemployment paperwork, and start polishing my resume.
And let’s be honest. I play Dungeons & Dragons. I relish the start of a new adventure. Time for me to go into to town and find a new quest.
Even when the battle is at its most dire, there is usually a way out. (Unless your DM is particularly cruel.)
Have a good weekend, everyone!!
*I realize that perhaps I am giving my brain quite a lot of independence here. I’m not sure if I believe it, or if there is any science to back this up. I just know that brains continue to be a mystery to doctors and psychologists. I will always remember a quote from a friend (quoting her neuropsychology prof, and paraphrased here):
“I used to think the brain was the most important organ in the body. Then I realized who was telling me that.”
